Apocalypse NOW.

Well, today... It was the coming of the APOCALYPSE.

She returned home. 'She' being the eldest step daughter. (And no, i will not make like thousands of fathers attempting to be accepted into the family fold by calling her my daughter. 'Cos she aint. She showed that last week, by her actions alone.) For the last six days, we have had a calm household, not exactly love and light, but very satisfying to live in, nonetheless, but it was absolute bliss, to be honest. The eldest boy was very relaxed, the youngest was just as relaxed, and me and Kate were as relaxed as you like. More relaxed than we have ever been, in fact.

And then SHE came back. She has been read the rules, ben told how it is, and she doesn't care. HOW she hasn't been chucked out yet, i do not know. But... She's heading the right way. She breaks the rules once, and i will kick her arse so hard, she'll come down near her nanas and be able to just walk through the front door.

It just makes me wish she would break the rules, and break them quickly, because she is such a negative influence on this family. Truth be told, i don't like her. I don't like who she's become. What shes become. And what has she become? A whiney self centred little shitbag, full of nothing but self pity and a fear of being single with absolutely NO self respect.

It's pathetic.

Mr Sheen shines umpteen things clean!

Sometimes, when i get upset, i clean.

I know, this sems to be a little... Wierd, but when i'm done, i can look at it, and say "Yup. I'm not worthless. I just did something, even if it was as petty as cleaning the kitchen, and it mattered. It helped." You see, i like to help, and not just in the way of cleaning. I like to be a comfort to people, i like to speak kind words, and do the right thing.

Tonight, i failed miserably at that. I opened my big fat mouth, and let my idiocy out. I say the wrong thing repeatedly, do the wrong thing, offend people i love, and then i clean. Or i get drunk.

Either way, maybe i need to have a bad week, and then the house would be spotless.

I suppose this explains my mother a lot. She cleans constantly. Maybe shes more afraid of offending the people she loves more than i am.

MAybe i should be pissed all the time, and then have my mouth stapled shut.

Or maybe i should see this as a lesson, and act accordingly.

God only knows.

But fuck him.

You know something? Dial up sucks.

It does. There used to be times when i would sit on a computer, check hundreds of things on EZBoard, surf random things, but that was when i had a proper connection. Now i have dial up? I tend to look on two boards, and then switch the computer off. (And no, this isn't one of them.) Plus, i have AOL dial up.

Kill me now.

The problem with AOL, is that, in a word, it's shit. Really shit. But hey, it's all i got. So it's what i've got to work with. Thankfully, i don't look at porn, so i'm not on the edge of death from waiting for nudey pictures.

I am about to kill myself because my wife is listening to Four Non Blondes on MTV though.

Being a god can sometimes suck ass.

Today has been a serious up and down day. Questions about my fitness to be an administrator on a board, (I AM YOUR GOD! BOW BEFORE ME, OR BE BROKEN!) by one of the other admins, (who stepped down) and by a few people on said message boards. What a bunch of cocks. Thing is, the board owner decided my fitness to be an admin, and he then defended it, and the first guy (who i respect a great deal and wish i could work with. I cannot because our opinions on how it should be done differ so much.) decided to take away his own powers. I really did sympathise with what he said, but i tend to rule with an iron fist if i am to rule at all.

Either way, a good start, a shit middle, and then a satisfying end.

I rock. And roll. All night long! Sweet suzie...

Today saw the end of David Beckhams world cup dreams, and another four years of failure for the English national football team. I felt sorry for Becks, because at thirty one this is going to be the last time he'll ever captain the English side, and maybe the last time he'll play in it. Poor bugger.

Admittedly, i slept through most of the match and the last half hour was a bit shit, but hats off to the Portugese goalie. The man seemed to have some sort of prescient ability (thats seeing into the future for all you ill educated people out there) that allowed him to see exactly where the ball was going to go. Rooney? Wanker. No matter how much someone pisses you off, you dont go and stamp on their nuts. Not with footie boots on. Not in a game of football. What a penis. Its a game, for fucks sake. Admittedly a highly paid game, but a game nonetheless.

Mind you, i don't particularly like football.