Run! It's the filth!

Larry was stalking to and fro across the room, fondling his sheathed weapon, drawing the hammer back slightly before letting it click back into place.

"If you do that wrong, you're going to blow your fucking arm off, man." Said Moe, reading a copy of the new york times.

"What's it to you if i do? As long as im not facing away from you, you'll be fine."

"You'll get blood on my shoes. These shoes cost me nearly three hundred dollars. You get blood on my shoes and i'll fucking ventilate you myself."

Curly stood up, towering over the other two by at least four inches.

"Calm down guys. Either of you shoots the other, the Don will probably hold me responsible. Also, i'll have to tell your mothers. Do you see me going up to Mrs Capiani and Mrs Santiago with my hat in my hands and telling them their little boys killed each other? No? Neither do i. So i suggest you cool your heels until you can get back to your molls and let of some steam."

"Except Larry don't have no Moll, Curly. She left him for a book trader down on fifty seventh and madison."

"Hey, fuck-!"

There was a crash as the front door was smashed open, and police officers flooded in with drawn weapons, screaming for everyone to get down on the floor. Moe spun, ripping his gun from its holster in the small of his back, blazing away at the men running toward him. Two took hits in the body and another in the face, before several of them opened fire at once, stitching a line of blood across his chest, and covering his shoes in blood.

Larry and Curly ran for the boarded up windows, both men hitting them at the same time, crashing onto the lawn outside, only to see a line of policemen standing with weapons drawn and levelled at their heads.

"Drop the weapons." The lead man said.

Curly went to drop his gun, but Larry opened up, taking the lead man in the face with a bullet, before his gun jammed. Both men went down in a hail of bullets, Curly looking at a deep blue sky as his vision was eaten away at the sides by the encroaching darkness.

"I think their dead, Chief." Said a man above curly.

"Good riddance."

This story was actually inspired by me moving three fish into a new tank this evening. Dont ask me why. Maybe im just wierd.

Watch out, i do Tai Chi!

Well, tonights class was the second i have done so far, in this run up toward learning the ancient art of moving like an old man. Tonights was a little different to last weeks, in the kind of way Gordon Ramsay cooks a little bit different from the fat woman in the local chippie.

Tonight, the lesson should have been called 'Information overload!' The fella teaching us, while pretty good at what he was doing, told us FAR too much about what we were doing, and why we were doing it. Every move was an arm break, a leg stomp, a block, blah blah blah. I'm sorry, but with nearly nine years of martial arts behinf me, i probably know more about snapping people in mind bogglingly painful ways than he EVER will. Admittedly, i respected him for his knowledge of the art, but not for a spindly little man trying to tell me how to snap someone in half. Don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the class, but hey.

Other than that, it's been a kind of 'meh' day. I haent got what i wanted to do done, not all of it, anyway, so im a bit dissatisfied there, had an argument with wifey person over money (god i hate money. I've never got enough) but i shoud be able to sort a lot of it out tommorow.

Well, i either will or i wont.

Fuck it. im bored of this blog writing shit. Whos idea was it for me to open one of these, anyway?

Would Kids like it if it was called an UNhappy meal?

Several days ago, my family and i happened to be eating a McDonalds in a drive through. (Obviously, there has to be a capital D! Who wouldnt put THAT there? Stupid... And what the fuck is the point in going to a drive through, and then taking your food (and i use that word VERY loosly) to a car parking space and eating?) We parked up, and i looked left and right. You know what i saw?

Nearly twenty cars full of people staring straight ahead, their lower jaws sowly moving up and down, and a look in their eyes reminiscent of cows chewing cud. All i could think to ask myself is whether sitting in a drive through has replaced the good old idea of having a Sunday lunch. Lets be honest, the sunday roast (as it is known in parts far away from where i live) is where the family get together, talk, enjoy a home cooked meal (Which even if done badly tastes better than that shit McDonalds give you) and sit around a table and talk. They spend time together. They socialise. Can you do that in a McDonalds car park? Well, technically speaking yes you can if you happen to be buying drugs, but thats not the point here.

I think society has lost the idea that a family is more than some people living in a house who happen to be related to each other.

It's more than people going to McDonalds and chewing reconstituted shit that, if seen in its original form, you wouldnt feed to your dog.

We need to replace McDonalds drive throughs with sunday roasts. We need tea on the table at a certain time, and everybody there. Not cows chewing cud.

I don't really know how to get across what im trying to say here, except that we have to be more than a set of cows in cars, chewing, and chewing, and chewing...

The long Road...

Today, i have driven a long way, and actually, for the first time in a couple of years, enjoyed spending time with my parents in a completely neutral environment.

They were accomodating, pleasant, and very easy to get on with. My wife and mother got on, my father and i did, (we always do though) and the boys were good as gold. All together a good day.

But anyway, i cant be arsed, so im gonna stop being like a muck spreader, and go to bed.